Abject Quizzery: The Utterly Depressing Quiz Book

Karl Shaw
Abject Quizzery

Welcome to the ultimate quiz book for these deplorable times. Abject Quizzery is a panoply of pessimism, a smorgasbord of skulduggery, a meisterwerk of melancholia.

‘There’s nothing less jolly than enforced jollity — you need ABJECT QUIZZERY… Hilarious’ Daily Mail

Snuff out your inner optimist and justify your constant gloom with the ultimate quiz book for these deplorable times.

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll feel numb.

Contains 834 questions, all with dispiriting answers, such as:

  1. At what age does the human brain begin to deteriorate?
  2. How many press-ups does it take to burn off one Creme Egg?
  3. When will the sun finally go out?


  1. At 27. A recent study of mental agility in 2,000 healthy people aged between 18 and 60 concluded that the first measurable signs of decline in areas like processing speed and visual puzzle-solving appear in the late twenties. However, the researchers also found that other areas of brain function, such as vocabulary, improved with age. So even if you can’t find the milk aisle in your local supermarket, you will be able to vent your frustration on a passing employee with gratifying eloquence.
  2. A lot. To be more specific, a person weighing 70 kg would need to do around 300 press-ups in 15 minutes to burn off a single egg.
  3. In 5 billion years. Not a minute too soon.


  • Old Street Publishing – World rights